Long time, no post!

Well. It’s been a while! Last time I posted I was 38 weeks pregnant, waiting for our baby to make her grand entrance. Well, that she did! I was 42 weeks pregnant when I was induced, finally bringing our little girl earth side.

We were scheduled to go into hospital on the Thursday afternoon before she was born to start my induction. When we got there they checked me and said that I had started to dilate on my own and that they would like to see if I could go into labor with no help, but if not I should come in again tomorrow morning at 6 am. Well, we went home, with my sister in tow and we waited. I walked laps of the house, up and down the stairs, sat on the yoga ball until I felt that I was becoming a bouncy ball, but nothing. Nada. Zip. So we went to bed. Neither Tom or I got any sleep because well, tomorrow was the day we had been waiting for. We were finally going to have our baby. Eventually we got some sleep.. Just in time for our alarm to go off.

When we went down stairs, I called the hospital to make sure that they had room for me. thankfully they did so off we went. In the car you could feel the anticipation of what was about to happen. When we got settled into the room and the midwives had done their last checks they started the induction process. They started me on the drip at 7:25 am and by 9:30 am my contractions had hit full force. The midwives that were with me were great, they let me labor in peace and never really bothered me at all. I was ready for this baby to be out. At about 11:30 they decided to check me because my last few contractions I said I needed to push and as much as I tried to fight it, all my body was telling me was push. They checked me and I was 9.5cms dilated! I was ecstatic! I was so close to having this baby!

We made the decision to turn me onto my hands and knees and lean over the back of the bed to get try and get me that last little bit dilated. Well.. This is where shit hit the fan. As they turned me, bub moved away from the heart rate monitor. We struggled for a good 5-10 minutes to find her heart rate and we made the decision to put on an internal monitor which goes on the top of her head. They decided to do it while I was still on my knee’s and within seconds of it being on they got her heart rate. All my midwife said to me was “Turn over, NOW” and this is where I started to panic. As I started to turn I had another contraction and had to push, but before I could even finish, I had one midwife at my knees and one at my shoulders turning me back onto my back. finally they told me, “Her heart rate has dropped to mid 50’s. We need to get her out, now” Cue to Tom and I panicking. They called in the Doctor who stood at the end of my bed and said “she’s gone into distress, so we need to take you to have an emergency c-section. If we can get her heart rate stable when we get there, we can let you give birth no c-section ok? but we have to go now” It all happened so fast all I can remember is wanting Tom with me, but he was left behind not knowing what was going on.

Eventually we got to the theater after what feels like hours and they checked her heart rate. It had dropped to 48. I will never forget that number and the thought of “Oh god, is my baby going to be ok?” As they were preparing me for my c section they had to put my under GA. Because I have low iron levels and low white platelet levels, I was told that an epidural or spinal block weren’t an option because of those two factors.

Fast forward to 1:45pm. I was in a strange room with no clue what had happened. I looked down and there was nothing. My giant tummy that had housed and protected my baby for the last 9 months was gone. But where was my baby? I asked the first midwife I saw “Is my baby ok? Is she with her dad?” And all I got was a “Yes” Yes what?! I turned to the other midwife and she told me that my baby was ok, she was with her dad and that they would get someone to go and get her for me. I had the biggest wave of relief wash over me. 10 minutes past and finally she was rolled in. The most perfect little thing I had ever seen in my life. All I could look at was her hair. God, that head full of brown wavy hair. She was so small and just perfect. I couldn’t believe that something that perfect had come out of me. All I could feel was this fierce love and urge to protect this little human. MY little human. they asked me what her name was, and I couldnt say. I knew who she was, but needed Tom’s opinion.

When they eventually wheeled my into the room i had all but 2 minutes to wait before Tom and my sister came in. I looked at the both of them and then at our baby and I think I said something like “I did it”. I could see when tom looked at her, he was so fucking proud. We took our first family photo together and then we took one of me and Bub. We were asked again what we were going to name her. tom looked at me and I knew we were on the same page.

So, at 12:45pm, on the 29th of September, 2017 Amity Laurel was born into this world.

Did my birth go exactly how I wanted it? No. It didnt. But I always knew it would end the way it did. With my perfect little girl in my arms.

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