Wrecked, but never been happier.

These last 9 weeks have been the best weeks of my life. Yes, that’s right.  9 weeks of sleepless nights, early mornings, tears (mine and hers), laughter, smiles and most importantly, love. We have been swamped with so much love these last 9 weeks that my heart is beyond full. Everyone we have met has been absolutely smitten with Amity, but once you meet her it’s not that hard.

The last few weeks have been a roller coaster. Working out the perfect balance between our new little family, our little day to day routine, learning to breastfeed, Tom’s work, home duties and anything coming up, like Christmas has been a task in itself. Don’t get me wrong, I couldn’t be happier with my life. But some days have been harder than others. Some days I literally get sweet fuck all done, where as other days I get the dishes done, the floors swept and moped, washing done and hung out all before 9:30 am. it depends on how I’m feeling and most of all if Amity will let me do anything. Some days she doesn’t want to be held and others you cant put her down. Another thing that makes it hard is that some times when tom has her, she just cries. So Tom gives her to me to settle her and it can sometimes be hard. Usually, its when I’ve just stepped under the water in the shower or when I’ve just started dinner.

But even after everything, I’d never change it for the world. They’re only this age once. I can be in the worst mood and her little gummy smile will make everything better. I can be crying and i’ll feel her little hand pat my shoulder or her little hand stroke my face. After losing my mum last year ( a year on the 10th) some days have been harder than others. There have been times where all I want to do is call my mum and talk to have and to just update her on Amity. And some of those times, I end up crying. But then I look down at this little face, looking at me like I’m her world and I think to myself “I cant let you see me like this, its not fair on you” So I wipe my tears and find something to do with her to take my mind off of my grief.

She is not only my life. She is my happiness and my world.

My sun and stars. The moon of my life. Thomas and Amity, everything I do. I do for you.

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